ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
