Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
