When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize