So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
