Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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