yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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