Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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