But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
