2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There's always time for handjobs
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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