it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize