I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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