I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
