He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
