so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
