I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
