Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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