____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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