I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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