Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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