Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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