You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
