going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
