Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
