i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
pop tarts are not kleenex
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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