so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
