there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
