When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
