38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize