I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
