By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
