I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
