none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Are we still banned from the library?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
