with your own penis?
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
