Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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