I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
