she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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