I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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