he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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