You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
