i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
