I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
