Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
bring money and cleavage
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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