Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
