Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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