pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
