If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
