They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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