i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
