her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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