They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
