i think my mom watched the whole time
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
