Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
