best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
