i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
