Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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