Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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