Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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