How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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