I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
